


Which one of them is Combo again?

by whywouldyou14



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1946709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whywouldyou14/pseuds/whywouldyou14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Walt couldn’t care less about any of these junkies that Jesse is friends with. However, he realizes that they can’t cook until they deal with the situation, and this is unacceptable. The man is irritated, because he knows he needs at least to pretend that he cares. Unlucky for him, Jesse is bad at chemistry, but ridiculously good at guessing when Walt is insincere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Which one of them is Combo again?

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt from Tumblr user veradune: "how about hurt/comfort after Combo gets shot? y'know, in an AU where Walt doesn't just go 'which one was he' OR maybe he realizes after the fact that was a dick move". Walt's emotions represent the famous Kubler-Ross model, which are stages of accepting death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. My first hurt/comfort, really appreciate the comments.

\- Which one of them is Combo again?

Walt doesn’t immediately understand that he said something wrong. He doesn’t even think about it for a few days – it’s Tuesday, and they weren’t supposed to cook with Jesse anyway until Friday. However, on Friday he calls the kid for, like, 6 times to arrange their usual meeting, and he doesn’t answer. After processing it for a while, Walt gets to the problem – Jesse’s probably being angry at his lack of concern, and finally feels a tiny bit of regret. Unfortunately for his partner, it has nothing to do with his friend – Walt couldn’t care less about any of these junkies that Jesse is friends with. However, he realizes that they can’t cook until they deal with the situation, and this is unacceptable. The man is irritated, because he knows he needs at least to pretend that he cares. Unlucky for him, Jesse is bad at chemistry, but ridiculously good at guessing when Walt is insincere. Through the next few days he passes through lots of emotions, but all of them are long from the one he shoots for - empathy.

**Denial**

Walt leaves his first message on Jesse’s phone on Saturday. He decides to just pretend that nothing happened – yes, that’s the best thing to do: “Hey, I don’t know what this is all about, but we need to keep doing what we are doing, and no one can make any excuses”. After a few hours he leaves another one: “Ok, I get it, you grieve for your friend’s death – that is really sad, but you can’t let yourself go – we have work to do. Call me as soon as you can”. On Sunday he starts to suspect that the kid decided to drown his sadness in drugs. He leaves a few more messages, most of them are like: “Jesse, what is your problem? Call me!” He gets no answer.

**Anger**

As always, Mr. White is right: Jesse is in his condo, moderately high and drunk, lying on the floor next to his couch – he sees the young man through the window. Walt starts to knock on the door with energetic, irate strokes. At first Jesse doesn’t notice it, or at least pretends not to, but finally he lifts up from the floor and goes to the door. His eyes are red and puffy, but at the same time he looks angry.

\- Yo, man. Unless you came to apologize, we have nothing to talk about. This business we have – it’s history, you got it?!

\- Jesus, Jesse, what the hell is wrong with you? We lost a ridiculous amount of money this week because of your inability to put your shit together! Look, I understand, your friend died, it’s a really sad situation, but we can’t let obstacles like this distract us!

\- You really don’t get it, bitch? Do you? You’re that dumb? Is it so hard?

\- Tell me then, Jesse! Enlighten me, what exactly I didn’t understand that makes you lie down in your apartment, smoking the exact same product that we needed to start cooking exactly 3 days, 5 hours and 35 minutes ago, and not give a fuck?

\- “Which one of them is Combo?”. It’s you who doesn’t give a shit who is Combo, you probably don’t even remember how he looked like! One of our people, our partners died, and all you can think about is your fucking meth!

Jesse goes away from the door and picks up a bag with blue crystals in it. Walt absent-mindedly calculates how much there’s in it – probably two or three ounces.

\- Yo, you know what? Take it. Take your fucking product and go sell it yourself, until the happy day someone shoots your head off!

Jesse throws the pack into Mr. White’s face and slams the door shut. Walt decides to stop the pointless conversation and goes away.

**Bargaining**

Walt understands that he has to find some way to appease Jesse with his indifference, as hard as it is. He thinks of it the whole day and finally leaves the kid a voicemail: “You know, I have been thinking about this situation, and I thought we could give some of the money to Combo’s parents as a compensation for their suffering. Maybe a few thousands of dollars, we can even take from my share. You know his family, right? You said he was your childhood friend or something?”

Unfortunately, Jesse deletes the voicemail as soon as he hears Mr. White’s voice.

**Depression and Acceptance**

This insanity has to stop, Walt thinks. It’s not only irritating, but exhausting. Some unpleasant feeling slowly creeps into him, but he can’t immediately put a hand to it. He feels the urge to talk to someone about the situation, but diligently stomps this idea in his mind. Just imagining how weird it would be, telling Skyler about this in any form: “Look, I got this friend, no, better say colleague, that recently lost one of his best friends, and I really don’t know how I could help him”. He imagines Skyler lifting her perfect eyebrows, surprised, and ask him: “Which friend are you talking about?” And then he understands the simple and sad fact: he has no friends. The closest he has to a friend is this pathetic junkie that he cooks meth with. And now he knows what the feeling is: it's the fear of being alone.

In an hour, Walt is again at Jesse’s door. This time he knocks politely. Jesse opens; he is not angry or crying anymore, more likely just tired. He says in a quiet voice: “Look, Mr. White, I told you, we have nothing to talk about anymore. Go away and find yourself someone else to work with, and leave me and my friends alone”.

\- Actually, Jesse, I came to apologize. Can I come in?

Jesse is surprised. He reluctantly lets Walt enter and sit down on the couch – one of the few things he has in his apartment.

Walt sighs and starts to talk: “Jesse, I am genuinely sorry for your loss. This thing that happened to your friend – Combo, is it?” (Jesse winces, but continues listening) “any of your friends, is truly terrible and should never happen to anyone. I remember that time that Tuco beat you up, I was so afraid that you might die, you can’t even imagine how frustrating that was. To lose someone you consider your only friend, a person that you love, that you truly care for…”

Walt feels a strong wave of a strange emotion covering him. To his surprise and horror, he feels two or three tears escaping his eyes, and then he almost automatically pulls Jesse into a strong hug. After a few moments, Walt feels awkward and releases the stunned kid. “Sorry for that, Jesse, it is probably the pills. They have this really peculiar... side effect”, - he mutters, embarrassed.

Jesse doesn’t say anything, but suddenly he realizes the weirdness of it. What Mr. White just called a side effect any normal person would simply call tenderness. Sadly, the tenderness has nothing to do with his dead friend, or, even less, with Badger and Skinny Pete; probably if someone asked Mr. White, he might as well call them “Beaver” and “Fat Bob”. However, he feels it has something to do with these programs he sometimes watches on Animal Planet, about bears or other big dangerous animals that easily kill men but are so protective about their cubs they might die trying to save them – not exactly a feeling, more of an instinct. Jesse guesses that’s the best he can get from Mr. White from this situation, and finally decides to go with it.

After a few moments of silence, he gives Mr. White an awkward side glance and asks: “So, you wanna go back to cooking?”


End file.
